


Reincarnate

by resilienttophat



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nott & Caleb Widogast Friendship, Nott & Caleb are best friends, Nott Lives, Playing Fast and Loose With Dungeons & Dragons Mechanics, Reincarnate Spell, Reincarnation, Resurrection, Romance, Temporary Character Death, Wizard Flirting, Wizards, Wound Cleaning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:01:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21569605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/resilienttophat/pseuds/resilienttophat
Summary: Nott dies. Caleb is broken. Essek is there.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, Nott & Caleb Widogast
Comments: 10
Kudos: 200





	Reincarnate

Essek was not prepared for a woman’s blood curdling scream to echo through the halls of the palace. One moment he had been kneeling at the Bright Queen’s feet, relaying news of empire spies apprehended in the City of Beasts. The next minute the crown’s guard had formed a protective barrier around her, and Essek was rushing towards the noise, ink bottle cloak flying out behind him, and a cantrip already sparking at his fingertips.

He threw open the door to the teleportation circle and froze. The magic at his hands fizzled out.

The Mighty Nein had returned to Rosohna. Yasha and Fjord’s backs were to Essek. Both of them had heavy burn marks licking up their arms. Beau, and the aasimar, Reani were supporting a heavily wounded Caduceus. His thick pink locks were matted with crimson. Jester, her hands soaked in blood, was kneeling on the ground in the middle, tears pouring down her face.

“We’re out of diamonds!” Jester wailed. “I can’t do another resurrection—I can’t help!”

Essek’s heart stopped. On autopilot he stumbled forwards into the room. His head was buzzing with focused alarm. _Where is Caleb?_

Essek forced his way into the group between Fjord and Yasha, who parted numbly. Furious blue eyes, wet with tears met his and he felt a wave of relief wash over him. Caleb was alive.

Seconds later that relief was chased by a piercing guilt. Caleb was alive, but in his arms was Nott, burnt and un-breathing. Her right side was almost completely unharmed, verdant green against a canary dress and the vibrant aquamarine of her tattoos. Her left side was a mix of roiling, angry red and black. Her armour was charred, her flesh violently burnt and open. Her yellow eyes were wide, glassy and dull. She stared unblinking at the ceiling. Dead.

Jester continued to sob. The sound echoed melancholically through the large teleportation chamber, as the rest of the Nein watched in horrified silence. Essek knelt down next to Caleb, who looked halfway to death himself. His white shirt was soaked with blossoms of blood and slashed open revealing long, thickly scabbed red cuts. The leather strap of his spellbook holster hung by a single thread.

“What—“ Essek started.

“ _Drachen_ ,” spat Caleb. His voice was harsh and ragged. Essek could see that Caleb’s lips were cracked and dry, dehydrated and blistered with heat. “A red dragon. We were ambushed in the mountain pass.”

Essek reached out tentatively and put his arm around Caleb’s shoulder. Caleb froze for a moment and then sagged into him, still cradling Nott’s body. His back pressed against Essek’s chest.

“I am sorry, “ said Essek softly. His mouth brushed against Caleb’s red hair, and the taste of iron stung his lips. He racked his brain, thinking of anything that he could do. “Diamonds are scarce, during the war, but I can ask-“

“I can get her back without diamonds,” interrupted Reani. “But, um, she won’t be the same.”

“Won’t be the same?” asked Fjord. “What do you mean?”

“It’s not a resurrection,” explained Reani. “It’s a reincarnation. She wouldn’t be a goblin anymore, but I, uh, I don’t know what she would be.”

Jester’s sobbing stopped. A tense silence filled the room as the rest of the Nein exchanged significant glances with one another.

“ _Ja_ ,” said Caleb. “I think, she would be fine with that.”

“I’ll need gold,” said Reani, “and to see an apothecary.”

* * *

The next few hours were a blur. Caduceus said a prayer of healing in the teleportation chamber, before the group split off. Beau and Fjord took Reani to an apothecary in town. The Bright Queen gave Essek a knowing look when he returned to the chamber, supporting Caleb, who still clutched Nott’s tiny body to his chest.

“Help your friends, Essek,” she said calmly. “I will have the prisoners delivered here in the morning for your interrogation.”

“My Queen.” Essek bowed as gracefully as he could without letting go of Caleb. Caduceus, Jester and Yasha thanked her profusely as they all left together. The five of them drifted silently back to the Xhorhaus.

At the house they split off. Yasha and Jester stumbled into the tub to clean up. Caduceus put a hand on Caleb’s shoulder. “Caleb,” he said firmly. “Let me take her. I’m going to prepare.”

“ _Nein,_ ” whispered Caleb. “Do not decompose her.”

“No,” Caduceus assured him. “I’m just going to clean her up. She won’t want her buttons to be stained.” Caduceus brushed a soft hand across Nott’s button necklace and smudged off some of the ash with his thumb.

“Caleb,” Essek whispered gently. “Let him help her. You need to rest.”

Caleb said nothing, continuing to stare at Nott’s body. Caduceus gently took her from him.

“She isn’t gone, Caleb,” said Caduceus kindly. “Don’t mourn her yet.”

* * *

Essek and Caleb waited out Reani’s return in the kitchen. Essek filled a large wooden bowl with water and placed it on the table.

Caleb said nothing, just sitting in his chair, staring at the ceiling. Essek came over with a cloth.

“You need to clean up,” Essek told him.

“ _Ja_ ,” said Caleb, but he didn’t move. Essek sighed and sat down in the chair next to him.

“Caleb,” Essek repeated.

Caleb looked at him numbly. Essek took his hand and gently began to scrub away the blood.

“You don’t have to tell me what happened if it is too much,” Essek said. “I am just here to help, if at all possible.”

“ _Nein_ ,” said Caleb. “Talking will make the time go faster.” He breathed out heavily leaning back into his chair. “We were in the Flotket Alps, leaving Uthodurn. We worried that Gelidon would attack us on the road—“

“The white dragon?” asked Essek. “The one I took you to?”

“Yes,” said Caleb. “When we escaped the last time, he said that he knew our scent. I feared retribution.” Caleb laughed self-deprecatingly. “I should have known there would be more than one dragon taking refuge in the mountains.”

Essek shook his head, and took Caleb’s other hand. “Dragon’s keep to them selves,” he said, as he worked away at the blood. “It is unusual for them to make attacks on the road. You could not have known.”

“ Frumpkin was scouting for us, and then he was gone in one strike and we were suddenly being attacked. My skills, most of my damage spells, are fire,” Caleb continued. “Red dragons are immune. I was limited.”

Essek put down the cloth and gripped Caleb’s clean hand. “That must have been terrifying.”

“ _Ja_ ,” said Caleb. “I didn’t know what to do. I tried to Slow it, but it hit me and broke my concentration.” He gestured down to his to the claw marks on his chest. “And then it hit me again and I went down.”

Essek’s grip on Caleb’s hand tightened. “Do you mean you were unconscious, or—“

“ _Nein._ Dead. Caduceus used the first diamond on me.” Caleb swallowed roughly.

Essek found himself out of his chair suddenly, kneeling on the floor, a hand on Caleb’s face. The image of Caleb dead and far away from him brought a sickly feeling to his stomach.

“ _Caleb_ ,” begged Essek, “do not think that this is your fault.” A voice in the back of his head hissed urgently at him. _Have some decorum, Essek. Sky Sybil is surely watching the house right now._ Essek ignored it.

Caleb’s breath was ragged. “I was a liability today.”

Essek shook his head. “No.” He brought his hand gently to the crimson soaked shirt buttons and then looked up and met Caleb’s gaze. “I am going to clean your wounds. Yes?”

Caleb sighed. “ _Ja_ , okay.”

Essek nodded. The shirt was so ragged that he only had to undo two buttons before it fell open in his hands. Caleb shrugged out of the sleeves and Essek brought the cloth to his chest and was suddenly struck by the proximity and intimacy. _What am I doing?_

“After I died I polymorphed into a Mammoth,” Caleb continued. “I thought, since I couldn’t use my spells, I could at least stop myself from being killed again.”

“That was wise,” said Essek. There was so much damage. He could see where the claws had torn clean through Caleb’s heart. Unable to stop himself he reached out and traced the scar. His hand brushed Caleb’s collarbone and for a moment he heard Caleb’s breath hitch.

Essek flushed, and continued his cleaning.

“Um,” said Caleb. “Then- ah, then it went for Caduceus. I suppose it was a sound tactic- take out the healer- and it killed him too, with its teeth. A fang went right through his skull.”

Essek frowned. Caduceus was so gentle and calm. “He seems unphased.”

“Caduceus has died before,” said Caleb. “He never lets it shake him. Either he understands his own mortality better than any of us, or he doesn’t understand it at all.” Caleb huffed out what seemed like a genuine laugh. “I can never be sure.”

Essek grinned at him and Caleb smiled back and for a moment they were just beaming at each other. Caleb looked away and frowned, coming back to the moment.

“Jester used our only other diamond to get Caduceus back on his feet, and then Fjord actually killed the thing. Two Eldritch Blasts, right between the eyes.” Caleb tapped his own forehead. “And we were so relieved. We were looting the dragon—we took scales and claws. Then Nott went to take the fangs, and one was silvered. I had cast Detect Magic, and I could tell there was something necromantic about it, and I warned her, but she does not listen—she never checks for traps.”

Tears were springing to Caleb’s eyes. Against all judgment Essek was on his feet engulfing Caleb in a hug. To his surprise Caleb actually hugged him back.

“And then?” Essek coaxed him gently, his phase buried in Caleb’s copper hair.

“The dragon came back, just for 6 seconds, enough to use it’s breath. Nott was burnt to a crisp, Fjord and Yasha were caught in the blast, but they were fine.” Caleb sobbed. “She drinks—she drinks and then she is not careful and then she dies.”

Essek kissed Caleb’s hair and rubbed his back. “I am sorry,” he said. “Reani, will get her back.”

“And if she doesn’t?” whispered Caleb. “What then? Nott is my best friend. I do not want to be without her.”

“I will find some diamonds,” said Essek, “and we will keep trying.”

The sound of wind chimes and the door banging open interrupted them. Caleb jumped, but did not let go of Essek.

“Caleb, where—oh.” Beauregard was standing in the doorway, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. “Where is Nott? Reani found her oils.”

Caleb huffed a relieved sigh, and his warm breath brushed against Essek’s ear.

* * *

Reani and Jester went up to join Caduceus. Yasha, Beau and Fjord came to wait with Caleb and Essek in the kitchen. They sat in tense, uncomfortable silence for 15 minutes. Fjord and Essek busied themselves with cleaning up the bloody rag and bowl, while Beau occasionally shot Caleb furtive, unreadable glances.

Eventually Essek and Beau locked eyes. She stared at him and raised an eyebrow. Essek cleared his throat and looked away. Mercifully at that moment Jester came down the stairs.

“Okay,” said Jester. She was clutching Nott’s clean and shiny button necklace in her hands. “We’re going to start.”

* * *

Up on Caduceus’ tower, under the Daylight tree, Essek’s eyes burned slightly. Nott’s body lay in the grass in the center of the garden, surrounded by a circle of ivy, lichen and flower buds, no doubt Druid Crafted by Reani. Nott’s torn clothes were gone. She was bare, still scarred, but clean of blood. In her hands was a bouquet of vines, buds, and crossbow bolts. Someone _(Jester?)_ had washed and brushed what remained of her long dark hair. Her yellow eyes were closed.

Caleb, who was standing next to Essek, still without his shirt, gripped his hand tightly.

“Before you start,” said Essek softly, “who is participating in the Ritual? I don’t have anything I can contribute myself, but I prepared Fortune’s Favor today. I can give you all an extra chance.”

The Mighty Nein exchanged looks with one another. Caleb, Fjord and Jester tentatively stepped forawrds.

Essek nodded, and gave Caleb’s hand a final squeeze before letting go and walking over to Fjord and Jester. Jester smiled shakily at Essek and sucked in a nervous breath. Fjord gave Jester’s hair a friendly tussle, but Essek could tell he was worried as well.

“She will be fine,” said Essek. He raised his hand gently and adjusted the ring on his index finger—a pearl spell component—and took two minutes to cast Fortune’s Favor, first on Jester than on Fjord.

When he was done Essek stepped away from them knelt down next Reani, who was sitting cross-legged in the grass looking nervous. “And for you.”

“I’m lucky,” she said. “I don’t need it.”

Essek smiled at her reassuringly. “Then you will have three tries,” he said, gripping her shoulder and casting the spell. Beau and Yasha came and sat next to her in the grass, flanking her in solidarity.

Essek returned to Caleb and squeezed his arm gently, burning a higher level spell to cover him as well. Caleb said nothing, but stared past him at Nott’s body for the minute it took to cast a spell.

“Those will last an hour,” Essek announced, eyes still locked on Caleb’s. They were beginning to grow glassy with tears. “You should start now.”

“Raise your hand before you start,” said Caduceus. He was leaning against the tree with his arms crossed. The light shone down on his pastel hair and armour, still battle worn and bloodied. He had clearly spent the entire two hours taking care of Nott and had yet to tend to himself. “I’ll guide you. We may as well give this the best shot we can.”

Reani sucked in a deep breath and rose to her feet. “Cool,” she said. “Let’s uh, let’s just, let’s do the thing!”

It was jarring and endearing, and despite the severity of the situation, Essek’s lips twitched into a smirk. Reani took out the vial of rare oil and stepped into the circle, kneeling on the ground beside Nott. She dipped her finger into it and ran it up the length of the bolts in Nott’s bouquet. Then she gingerly brushed it up Nott’s calves, across her collarbones, down the insides of her wrists and along her fingers to the tips of her claws. Reani worked the oil into Nott’s loose hair, spreading it above her head on the ground. She traced the last of the oil along Nott’s tattoos and brushed the final drop across her lips.

Reani stepped back out of the circle, whispering an incantation in celestial and closed her eyes, pressing her index fingers together in front of her mouth. When she opened them again they glowed the bright white of her halo. Illusory wings shone behind her back.

Essek stared in awe, trying to school his features into his usual cool mask. He had never seen anything so radiant.

Jester raised her hand into the air and Caduceus came over and squeezed her shoulder. She bit her lip, and then stepped gently over the coils of vines and flower buds to sit beside Nott in the grass. Every plant in the garden seemed to be glowing with Reani, softly illuminating Jester’s cool blue skin.

Jester took out her sketchbook and paints and as she sucked in a breath, Essek felt the first thrum of Dunamancy pulse through the garden. Jester began to paint buttons and beads. They tumbled off the pages: crimson, aquamarine, orange, yellow, violet, cerulean. They were beautiful, glossy and intricate. She scattered them around Nott in the grass as she worked. As they hit the ground each button began to pick up Reani’s glow.

“I know you love shiny things,” said Jester sweetly. “And if you come back we can steal buttons, and gems and trinkets, and I will take you to Orly and we will get you another jewel tattoo for your new body if this one disappears.”

Jester backed out of the circle and knelt between Beau and Yasha, who wrapped her into their arms. The white glow had now spread to the three of them and they looked soft and gentle and hopeful bathed in celestial light.

Fjord raised his hand furtively and Caduceus gripped his shoulder and nodded at him. “Wild Mother, guide you.”

Fjord clasped Caduceus’s hand and then seemed to shrink all of a sudden. His skin became softer and cream-coloured; his dark hair shifted to light brown and shaggy and his eyes turned a sweet blue. He was a Halfling child, but still somewhere over five feet tall. Essek tilted his head in confusion.

“That is brilliant,” Caleb whispered. Essek shot him a glance. For the first time Caleb was beginning to look hopeful. “He is her son.”

Fjord knelt beside Nott and when he spoke his voice was not his own. The energy of Fortune’s Favor wafted through the garden once more. “Mom,” said a child’s voice. “It’s Luc. You have to come back. You have to teach me to use a crossbow, and take Nugget to the park with me and Dad, and see my new button collection. Please, come back. I need my mom.”

The garden seemed to sigh as Fjord backed out. The vines in Nott’s circle coiled and shifted. Ivy wrapped around and up Reani’s calves and the leaves of the Daylight Tree shuddered. The glow that now enveloped all of them seemed to have a pulse. Caleb looked at Essek, bathed in radiant light, smiling trepidatiously _. He is beautiful,_ Essek thought.

Caduceus came to Caleb’s side and tapped him on the shoulder. Caleb stepped into the circle last and knelt beside Nott. He clasped her burnt face in his hands. “You are my best friend. You are the first person that I have loved in a long time. If you are not on this plane, then I do not want to be on it either.” The tears that had been welling in Caleb’s eye began to spill down his cheeks. “Please, come back to me, Nott the Brave. I cannot do this without you.” Caleb pressed his forehead to Nott’s and as the dunamancy thrummed through the garden once more all of the buds in the circle around Nott and in her bouquet burst suddenly into lush beautiful sunflowers. Caleb backed away as the ivy began to rush forwards, coiling around Nott’s body and engulfing her.

The lichen started to spread in vibrant pinks and blues, and the whole garden was awash with radiance. Caduceus stepped behind Reani, pressing his palms to both of her shoulders, and her wings seemed to expand suddenly, extending beyond the boundaries of the rooftop garden, Celestial magic drowning out the hum of Fortune’s Favor. The light grew so bright that Essek couldn’t see at all. Everything was white and burning and he screwed his eyes shut, and then suddenly the burning faded. Essek opened his eyes. The glowing was gone. Vibrant moss and flowers grew throughout the entire garden, ivy had wound itself up the trunk of the Daylight tree.

Where Nott had lane there was a cocoon of coiling, turning ivy, thick and heavy, at least five times the mass of Nott’s body. The ivy slowly began to unravel. Caleb gripped Essek’s hand so tightly it hurt. A shock of long red hair appeared from the top of the cocoon. It continued to wind away revealing oak brown skin, long nimble limbs, dark freckles, and a set of pointed ears. The same intricate aquamarine tattoos swirled across flushed cheeks. A pair of honey colored eyes opened and Nott the brave sat up with a gasp.

The clearing erupted in noise. The Mighty Nein ran forwards. Caleb dropped Essek’s hand and dove to Nott’s side, wrapping her in his arms.

Reani and the rest of the Nein piled on top of them, shrieking and laughing. Essek hung back watching.

“Never do that again, Nott!” scolded Caleb, but his eyes were bright.

“Caleb!” yelled Nott. “Where is your shirt? It’s freezing! Wait, why am _I_ naked? Why aren’t I green!”

“You’re a _wood elf_!” cooed Jester. “That’s so exciting!”

“I’m a _what_?“

Essek smiled fondly and began to back away. The Mighty Nein were a family and they deserved to have this moment to themselves. As he was moving down the steps Caduceus caught his eye and smiled at him. Essek nodded and then swept away down the steps.

* * *

When he got home Essek went into his library to prepare for his interrogation the next morning. He was there for hours, making notes and prepping questions—and getting distracted. His mind wandered frequently to the resurrection; to how much the Nein loved each other; to Caleb, hopeful and bathed in radiance; to the hitch in Caleb’s breath as he traced the cut across his skin.

Essek hung his head in hands and sighed. This attraction was beginning to become problematic. What was worse was the Bright Queen’s obvious awareness. She had sent him away for a reason.

Frustrated and unable to focus, Essek used his mage hand to pull a bottle of wine down from the shelf. Perhaps a glass would at least settle his whirring thoughts and allow him to sleep for the night.

A knock at his door interrupted him. Essek frowned, putting the bottle of wine down on his desk. He glided through his halls to his front door. _Who is calling this late at night?_

Essek used the mage hand to open the door and there stood Caleb, in one of Fjord’s shirts, hand raised to knock again.

“Caleb,” breathed Essek.

“Essek.” Caleb shifted awkwardly. “I just- I came to-“ He paused and seemed to collect himself. “Thank you.” Suddenly Caleb was surging forwards to hug him and Essek was met with an armful of human.

“Oh,” said Essek. “Of course, of course.” He buried his nose in Caleb’s hair. The smell of parchment, incense and fire was nearly overwhelming. “Of course. Where is Nott?”

“She is in Nicodranas with her family, may I—“ Caleb seemed to freeze suddenly. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to intrude. I just wanted to thank you personally. For your help.”

“Caleb,” Essek said softly, pulling away from the hug and taking Caleb’s face in his hands, “you aren’t intruding. You are welcome here whenever you like.”

There was a beat of silence. Caleb’s blue eyes seemed to search for something in Essek’s.

“Caleb?”

And then Caleb was surging forwards, pressing his lips to Essek’s and Essek was stumbling backwards into the house supporting him. Essek wrapped his arms around Caleb’s waist, kicking the door shut, and pushing the human wizard up against it. Caleb wound his fingers into Essek’s hair and hummed into the kiss.

“Essek,” whispered Caleb, kissing down Essek’s neck. “Essek, please.”

“Anything,” gasped Essek, already unbuttoning Caleb’s shirt. “Anything, Caleb.”

**Author's Note:**

> Reincarnate  
> 5 transmutation  
> Casting Time: 1 hour  
> Range: Touch  
> Components: V S M (Rare oils and unguents worth at least 1,000 gp, which the spell consumes)  
> Duration: Instantaneous  
> Classes: Druid  
> You touch a dead humanoid or a piece of a dead humanoid. Provided that the creature has been dead no longer than 10 days, the spell forms a new adult body for it and then calls the soul to enter that body. If the target’s soul isn’t free or willing to do so, the spell fails.  
> The magic fashions a new body for the creature to inhabit, which likely causes the creature’s race to change. The GM rolls a d100 and consults the following table to determine what form the creature takes when restored to life, or the GM chooses a form.  
> d100 Race  
> 01–04 Dragonborn  
> 05–13 Dwarf, hill  
> 14–21 Dwarf, mountain  
> 22–25 Elf, dark  
> 26–34 Elf, high  
> 35–42 Elf, wood  
> 43–46 Gnome, forest  
> 47–52 Gnome, rock  
> 53–56 Half-elf  
> 57–60 Half-orc  
> 61–68 Halfling, lightfoot  
> 69–76 Halfling, stout  
> 77–96 Human  
> 97–00 Tiefling  
> The reincarnated creature recalls its former life and experiences. It retains the capabilities it had in its original form, except it exchanges its original race for the new one and changes its racial traits accordingly.
> 
> I am absolutely obsessed with this spell. Also, if anyone is wondering about checks I would envision DEX for Jester, deception for Fjord and persuasion for Caleb. I know Caleb is v open and emotional in this, but I feel like if it was Nott, his best friend, he would break his dam.


End file.
